Jobby Job
I got a job, and start on Tuesday. I applied of course, but am still ambivalent. I think it will be "good" for me--to be freed of the worries of getting by day to day. As with so many things, it is a matter of freedom to v. freedom from. Freedom from bankruptcy, freedom from endless questions from family and friends. And a loss of freedom to, no more freedom to make my own day, to go away, to ...

It's just a job. I should be grateful I guess. Dental, and, I hope, mental. I hope I hope.

I'm working through the 19th of the month, then off through the new year. I want to make the "most" of it, to go away, to be free for one last breath.

I'm worried about my RSI--I spent months, and thousands of dollars, to get just a bit better, to be able to sit at a computer with shooting pains (reduced to a dull ache most of the time). One of the reasons I didn't stay on at my old job was because of the pain, and because I was told that it would just get worse, and the damage was verging on irreparable. I was scared then, and I am scared now. I'll also have to give up crafting. It's one of the other--apparently I am only built for a finite amount of fine work.

Still, gratitude is in order. Jobs are tough to come by, and this one is not with an ad agency, or doing anything that is either immoral, illegal or simply distasteful.

And the breather between starting for real for real is a gift. I can go somewhere, visit friends, a spa. Something.